So as you get into reading this you might sense that this is another one of “those” blogs coming from “those” bloggers. You know the type. Think they know everything about Black women, hates his mama, loves white women, or is a “weak” Black man. I can say with sheer confidence that I am not that guy and dont possess any of those feelings. Today I’d like to talk about the argumentative nature of Black women and why it is a hindrance to Black relationships everywhere.
Now you may Grits all races of women argue, Why you singling out the Sistas?
Well two reasons.
1. I can’t say that I have ever seriously dated a white woman/any other race
2. I don’t care about what other women do, I care about what Black women do.
That being said I’d like to analyze some phrases I’ve heard from Black women.
“I need a man who can put me in my place”
“I don’t want a pushover”
“He needs to be able to check me when I’m wrong”
and my all time f’avorite, “He has to be able to tell me no”
Even my mom says shit like that and she’s married. I’ve wondered though where do all of these feelings of essentially wanting to be disciplined come from?
Now Im not going to say that all of these feelings/phrases are rooted in black women suffering from dreaded “Daddy Issues” but it really leaves me to think sometimes…
Why THE FUCK are you looking to someone else to fix YOUR ATTITUDE?
Don’t you have any self control? Where is your home training?
Now in relationships there will be disagreements, there may even be debates, to be constantly arguing about frivolous shit just for the sake of it only to desire to be “put in your place” is so fucking off kilter and childish that I can’t wholeheartedly entertain a woman that combative.
I understand that no woman wants a pushover. However what some Black women need to realize is…
“MOST MEN DON’T GIVE A FUCK ENOUGH TO ARGUE WITH YOU”
Realest shit I ever wrote. It’s truth. Most men don’t want to argue. Most men want the woman they’re dating/interested in to be happy by any means necessary. The problem is and listen very closely to what I’m about to say is…
MANY WOMEN EQUATE ANGER WITH PASSION.
IF HE GETS ANGRY THAT MEANS HE REALLY GIVES A FUCK.
Getting angry doesn’t mean he truly cares. It means that you have done more than enough to disturb his inner peace and now he pissed off which makes you excited. What kind of sick shit is this?
Im bout to get real. My Dad is in a bad marriage. My stepmom does everything in her power to make my dad angry probably so she can provoke him to hit her. However my Dad is the epitome of cool. If he can avoid an argument he will. All he wants to do is go to his room, play with my two little brothers, and chill. However my stepmom’s incessant anger makes her disturb his peace anytime she gets. And I love my stepmom but I gotta keep it real.
It’s always been a fear of mine to be in a relationship with a woman who likes to argue all the time. I’ve dealt with a few who had to challenge everything I thought, everything I said simply for the sake of arguing. It would drain the FUCK outta me and ultimately would lead me to NEVER want to fuck with them or women like them again.
In conclussion I want to say that it is not your man’s role to “fix your attitude”, “put you in your place”, or “check you”. Look in the mirror. You see that person? Yeah. All of those duties belong to the person you’re looking at. Not the dude cooking for you, laying the pipe, and rolling your blunts.
Let’s try not arguing and just try being nice.